I think I am typing this out with the hope that doing so will help me decide.
Dr. P is our first behavioral health Dr. He is a bit of a jerk. He acts like I don't know what I'm talking about, and when I ask questions or bring things up he actually ROLLS his eyes at my stupidity. Jerk. He is smart though and conservative with diagnosing, but not conservative with medications. The dosage amounts have gone up and up and up. Nathan has lost 14 lbs in a year. He is 12 and that is way too much. He was even having side effects that we considered severe but will not discuss on this page. Dr. P gives me medications. For free. If I did not get them from him then I would be paying about $600/month for them.
Dr. H is the rock star Dr. Or, so I thought. He is nice and smart and listened to me. He is conservative with dosing, but not with diagnosing. Meaning, he is the one who mentioned Asperger's and paranoia. He told me to see Dr. W.
Dr. W., will I keep this appt.? I don't know. I have since seen Dr. P. When I told him about my second opinions he acted like a jerk. But, a jerk who cares about Nathan. He said DO NOT get an Asperger's diagnosis. It will stay with him for forever. Even if he has some characteristics or tendencies he is not severe enough to have this label.
Confusing part: Then what do I DO? Dr. W can provide therapy that will help him with social situations... but with the diagnosis that Dr. P thinks I should avoid at all costs. I understand how avoiding this label could be helpful in the end. But, I'd like him to get more help. Therapy. Dr. Pines said to do talk therapy. Dr. W's therapy is didantic (sp?) and, I don't even know what that is. Also, I've done talk therapy several times in my life for several different situations. It's crap. It literally always made stuff worse.
Also,
Dear Dr. P. I don't need your tirade about LDS people seeking out LDS drs. The reason I went to Dr. H. is because you are a jerk. See? You proved my point. If I sought out only LDS drs then would I be seeing you? Thank you very much.
p.s. thanks for the meds.
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4 comments:
Boy, that is tough. Free is nice and I can see his point about being labeled. BUT if you aren't comfortable with a doctor I'm not sure I would stay.
You are going through some tough stuff. It seems when our kids are involved things always seem so much harder.
Do you feel that an Aspergers label is that bad? It doesn't have a negative connotation here. I can name half a dozen people in my ward or extended family that I suspect have Aspergers but have never been diagnosed. Most people where we live hear Aspergers and think, now there is someone who is really, really smart. . . and maybe a little funny in the social department.
Labels are no fun, for sure, but if getting the therapy will help Nathan, then he'll be able to break the stigmas that come with the label, right? I guess what I'm asking is, what setbacks will Nathan face by having an Aspergerian label? Are they more severe than the help he will receive from the therapy?
You're in my prayers. I'm sure you will be guided to do what is right for Nathan, which ever way that is!
Thanks for the comments. I don't dislike Dr. P's treatment enough to change, I just REALLY dislike his bedside manner.
Also, no, I don't think an asperger's label is all that bad. And, the first thing I said to Dr. P is "why does that matter"? The only thing I think it might effect is serving a mission. I haven't even talked to anyone... but since the whole "raise the bar" standard, I wonder if someone with these difficulties can serve.
Sarah~ I am sorry you are having this difficult time finding and feeling comfortable with a Dr. for your son.
In the end we (mothers) need to follow our intuition and the guidance of our husbands. I believe finding a doctor within your church would be a positive thing(not a necessity but, positive), after all he would share your beliefs. :)
I will continue to pray for you and your family. ~hugs from Oregon
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